You think you came so far in your journey, in search of bliss. You tried many methods, asked a lot of questions to those who claimed to know the way… You wondered if your journey meant to reach that point. Were you supposed to stop there and turn into something greater than what you are? Do they know which way you should go? Something inside you bothers you. You believe all of them have wise stories to tell and they tell them from their angle. Inside you a silent humming raises, restlessness expands to your legs, you feel you’d better go… This is not your story. You know this is a story, their story… You don’t want a story. You want to know, even further, you want the state of knowing, where the knowledge remains as a thing, as another story. But the state is permanent, only there to tell you where the stories cease… Ghosts have stories, you don’t mind listening, learning, benefiting from the wise words, but your legs want to get going as soon as they finish telling, as if you have a train to catch.
Why do you feel you are betraying all the wisdom they are offering, you know in your heart you are a rebel, on the other hand you suspect you don’t live up to the wisdom the knowing has given you. You keep forgetting things, it is your amnesia.
You hang on to a few sentences you dreamt about… Why do you think those words contained the whole meaning of life?
What would you do, if there was actually no path to walk on and everyone looked for a path that was walked by someone else? Would you still go and take their steps, if you know nothing about what is out there? In the wilderness of the existence, would you dare to not follow someone’s path? Would you be free if you did?
Questions occupy your mind and voices get louder. You want to have peace of mind and to remember your own journey, which started with a little talk between you and the self, a few exchange of words, back and forth, a few sincere moments that felt deeply… Was it more real then? What has changed? You know you forgot what you had learnt along the way and you stopped following the self. The Self knew that there is nowhere to go, the journey was only to remember that there is nowhere to go, nothing to become. Then you connect to your heart which expands with the sense of freedom, getting lighter. A deep love emanates from your heart and you surrender into a sense of knowing which is effortlessly there…
You remember that you once had a compass, but not anymore. Damn it! Where did you leave it? You used to hold it in your hands and whisper your intent: “I want to know myself”. Your heart used to resonate with it and tell you only if you are in the “now and here”. It was not a compass to find the right direction, it was to tell you if you are standing on your “now and here spot”.
Having remembered your compass, your heart starts to resonate with it. You wonderfully remember that you walk through an illusion and you are not to overcome the illusion, just to remember that all is a reflection.
You remember the last time you held your compass tightly. Your heart feels its hands. A tickling sensation makes your heart smile. You cannot lose your compass, it is in there, you read the exquisite coordinates that the hands show.
You remember again, you do not follow a path, you follow your heart. Whenever the hands tickle your heart, you are here.
It is like following the smell of the sea to find the ocean. You take a step and smell. You cannot tell how to get there but you recognise the smell.
Love leads you, you love your ticklish heart.